2 posts 1 month, Imma go with miracle or at least divine intervention

So I actually made 2 posts in 1 month this year, thats fucking amazing. What? Oh the fucking thing. Yeah a few of my older posts I went back and censored out some things because I felt bad that my kids might read it. Then it occurred to me that they know what I foul mouthed bastard I am, so fuck it. Oh yeah back to my babbling.....

So I have done nothing, not jack shit, to get my fat ass back in shape. Yes its been cold, is that really a good excuse? Ummmm no, im just a pussy and its gonna hurt when I start, and Im not really looking forward to hurting. Its hard enough just to get out of bed these days.

Imagine a really funny segue

I vent, its what it is for right?

Im hoping that not only do I get in shape by this summer I also am planning on trying to get in touch with my biological family (adoption REALY does explain so much in my world). Im not sure how I feel about it. It's something that I have always wanted to do, as far back as I can remember anyway. I know where some of my bio family are but I can find others. I would really like to find em both. It's not really that sappy as it may sound. I wanna know who I look like, do I have any brothers or sisters out there that I dont know about? I do know I have a 1/2 brother who is about 7 yrs younger than me, but that's not enough. I wanna know it all, now that I know all that I know.

I got my entire adoption record in 2008, right before I bought a house. I often wonder what things would be like had the situation turned out different. What if I still lived in the apt and was able to actually have money in the bank. Would I have ponied up the $130 to meet them last summer? And if I had would we still be in touch or would I drift away from them as I so often do from 'family'? I know it seems like a dick move, and I truly an thankful for the things my family has done for me. But its awkward, we aren't really the same, and from what I have learned about my bio family, they are a lot like the family I grew up with.

OK OK wait. Im stoppin here, sorry for the bummer of a post, hopefully the next one will be soon and maybe a lil funny.